The Secret to Long Life

What if I told you that social connection is the secret to a longer and happier life? Social connection and relationships are basic human needs ---like water, food, and shelter. Being socially connected is the secret to human survival and longevity. Socially connected people live longer and have increased odds of survival by about 50%. More connected communities are healthier overall, reporting good or excellent health at rates 2.6x higher than communities that are not well connected. They also have higher levels of trust, lower levels of violence, and higher levels of economic prosperity. 

Unfortunately. despite all of these benefits, Americans are becoming increasingly lonely and disconnected. Only 39% of adults feel connected to others, and over half of adults report experiencing loneliness regularly.

The Surgeon General's Advisory On Loneliness

This year, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, released a Surgeon General’s Advisory on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation - PDF on the healing effects of social connection and community on our lives. It is an 82-page report, so I will do my best to summarize it. 

The report outlines the connectedness of Americans between 2003-2020 and notes that the number of minutes spent with friends has decreased by 20 hours per month, family engagement has decreased by 6.5 hours per month, leisure activities with a loved one has decreased by 14 hours per month, and social isolation has increased by 24 hours per month. The highest rates of loneliness are among the youngest and the oldest adults. Young adults are twice as likely to feel lonely than people over 65. Additionally, people who use social media for over 2 hours daily have double the odds of feeling lonely. 

In the report, Dr. Murthy outlines the risks of loneliness and social isolation on our health and the many benefits of social connection for individual and societal health. He names social connection as a critical and underappreciated contributor to health. The report brings forth several studies that have shown that loneliness increases both the risk of premature death and disease. Loneliness increases the risk of dying at a younger age by 26%, similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day! Loneliness significantly increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression, dementia, and other diseases. 

Cultivating a Culture of Connection 

How can you build your connections and reduce your feelings of loneliness? The good news is that the answer is not complicated, but increasing social connections does require some intentionality. The design of your home and community is integral to building social connections. Studies show that the layout of our environments directly impacts our connections. Access to green space, inviting and open spaces, and feelings of safety are essential building blocks to connection. 

How we engage with others every day also has a significant impact on social connection. Have you ever heard the phrase "choosing connection over being right"? This phrase directly applies here. Intentionally engaging in the core values of kindness, respect, service, and commitment to others builds connection and a foundation of trust. 

Spend time investing in family, friends, and young people. Just your presence is enough to build on and provide a protective foundation to build on. Model healthy social connections by engaging in healthy conflict resolution, staying in contact with extended family and friends, and putting social media down. Take time each day to reach out to family, especially those who live alone or are lonely. Volunteer in your community if you have the time--- I promise you will get more out of it than you give.

Create a space in your home that is comfortable and safe for connection and conversations. Circles promote inclusiveness, so use them in design to help bring people together. 

Practice gratitude--the more you do this, the more likely it will be reciprocated, and the practice of gratitude is the basis for satisfaction in relationships. 

Life is hard sometimes, but remember that it is meant to be shared with others. I hope you feel encouraged to reach out and love others through your kind words, encouragement, and gifts of service. You are worthy of being loved, and I am grateful that you took the time to read this. Have a very special day. Rachel